What your car says about you (humor)

Question:

Acura Integra- I have always wanted to own the Buick of sports cars. Acura Legend- I’m too bland for German cars. Acura NSX- I am impotent. Audi 90- I enjoy putting out engine fires. Buick Park Avenue- I am older than 34 of the 50 states. Cadillac Eldorado- I am a very good Mary Kay salesman. Cadillac Seville- I am a pimp. Chevrolet Camaro- I enjoy beating up people. Chevrolet Chevette- I like seeing people’s reactions when I tell them I have a ‘Vette. Chevrolet Corvette- I’m in a mid-life crisis. Chevrolet El Camino- I am leading a militia to overthrow the government. Chrysler Cordoba- I dig the rich Corinthian leather. Datsun 280Z- I have a kilo of cocaine in my wheel well. Dodge Dart-I teach third grade special education and I voted for Eisenhower. Dodge Daytona- I delivered pizza for four years to get this car. Ford Escort – I’m a red-headed nanny. Ford Fairmont- (See Dodge Dart) Ford Mustang- I slow down to 85 in school zones. Ford Crown Victoria- I enjoy having people slow to 55mph & change lanes when I pull up behind them. Geo Storm- I will start the 11th grade in the Fall. Geo Tracker- I will start the 12th grade in the Fall. Honda del Sol- I have always said, half a convertible is better than no convertible at all. Honda Civic- I have just graduated and have no credit. Honda Accord- I lack any originality and am basically a lemming. Infiniti Q45- I am a physician with 17 malpractice suits pending. Isuzu Impulse-I do not give a rip about J.D. Power or his reports. Jaguar XJ6-I am so rich I will pay 60K for a car that is in the shop 80 days per year. Kia Sephia- I learned nothing from the failure of Diahatsu Corp. Lincoln Town Car- I live for bingo and covered dish suppers. Mercury Grand Marquis- (See above) Mercedes 500SL- I will beat you up if you ask me for an autograph. Mercedes 560SEL- I have a daughter named Bitsy and a son named Cole. Mazda Miata- I do not fear being decapitated by an 18-wheeler. MGB- I am dating a mechanic. Mitsubishi Diamante- I don’t know what it means either. Nissan 300ZX- I have yet to complete my divorce proceedings. Oldsmobile Cutlass- I just stole this car and I’m going to make a…. Peugeot 505 Diesel- I am on the EPA’s Ten Most Wanted List. Plymouth Neon- I sincerely enjoy doing the Macarena. Pontiac Grand AM (pre 92 models)- I keep two cases of AquaNet in the backseat, just in case someone in a Trans AM pulls up beside me. Pontiac Trans AM- I am a redneck who thinks a Trans AM is a sportscar. Porsche 944- I am dating big haired women that otherwise would be inaccessible to me. Rolls Royce Silver Shadow- I think Pat Buchannon is a tad bit too liberal. Saturn SC2- (See Honda Civic) Subaru Legacy- I have always wanted a Japanese car even more. Toyota Camry- I am still in the closet. Volkswagon Beetle- I still watch Partridge Family reruns. Volkswagon Cabriolet- I am out of the closet. Volkswagon Microbus- I am tripping right now. Volvo 740 Wagon- I am frightened of my wife. — — Lynda

Response:

hehehe, boy, how about a Saturn SC1…  I have no credit, and just wrecked my last Saturn ~Har "Give me ambiguity or give me something else." – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – >Acura Integra- I have always wanted to own the Buick of sports cars. >Acura Legend- I’m too bland for German cars. >Acura NSX- I am impotent. >Audi 90- I enjoy putting out engine fires. >Buick Park Avenue- I am older than 34 of the 50 states. >Cadillac Eldorado- I am a very good Mary Kay salesman. >Cadillac Seville- I am a pimp. >Chevrolet Camaro- I enjoy beating up people. >Chevrolet Chevette- I like seeing people’s reactions when I tell them I >have a ‘Vette. >Chevrolet Corvette- I’m in a mid-life crisis. >Chevrolet El Camino- I am leading a militia to overthrow the government. >Chrysler Cordoba- I dig the rich Corinthian leather. >Datsun 280Z- I have a kilo of cocaine in my wheel well. >Dodge Dart-I teach third grade special education and I voted for >Eisenhower. >Dodge Daytona- I delivered pizza for four years to get this car. >Ford Escort – I’m a red-headed nanny. >Ford Fairmont- (See Dodge Dart) >Ford Mustang- I slow down to 85 in school zones. >Ford Crown Victoria- I enjoy having people slow to 55mph & change lanes >when I pull up behind them. >Geo Storm- I will start the 11th grade in the Fall. >Geo Tracker- I will start the 12th grade in the Fall. >Honda del Sol- I have always said, half a convertible is better than no >convertible at all. >Honda Civic- I have just graduated and have no credit. >Honda Accord- I lack any originality and am basically a lemming. >Infiniti Q45- I am a physician with 17 malpractice suits pending. >Isuzu Impulse-I do not give a rip about J.D. Power or his reports. >Jaguar XJ6-I am so rich I will pay 60K for a car that is in the shop 80 >days per year. >Kia Sephia- I learned nothing from the failure of Diahatsu Corp. >Lincoln Town Car- I live for bingo and covered dish suppers. >Mercury Grand Marquis- (See above) >Mercedes 500SL- I will beat you up if you ask me for an autograph. >Mercedes 560SEL- I have a daughter named Bitsy and a son named Cole. >Mazda Miata- I do not fear being decapitated by an 18-wheeler. >MGB- I am dating a mechanic. >Mitsubishi Diamante- I don’t know what it means either. >Nissan 300ZX- I have yet to complete my divorce proceedings. >Oldsmobile Cutlass- I just stole this car and I’m going to make a…. >Peugeot 505 Diesel- I am on the EPA’s Ten Most Wanted List. >Plymouth Neon- I sincerely enjoy doing the Macarena. >Pontiac Grand AM (pre 92 models)- I keep two cases of AquaNet in the >backseat, just in case someone in a Trans AM pulls up beside me. >Pontiac Trans AM- I am a redneck who thinks a Trans AM is a sportscar. >Porsche 944- I am dating big haired women that otherwise would be >inaccessible to me. >Rolls Royce Silver Shadow- I think Pat Buchannon is a tad bit too >liberal. >Saturn SC2- (See Honda Civic) >Subaru Legacy- I have always wanted a Japanese car even more. >Toyota Camry- I am still in the closet. >Volkswagon Beetle- I still watch Partridge Family reruns. >Volkswagon Cabriolet- I am out of the closet. >Volkswagon Microbus- I am tripping right now. >Volvo 740 Wagon- I am frightened of my wife. >– >– >Lynda

Response:

: Mitsubishi Diamante- I don’t know what it means either. These things are built in Australia for export to the US. I was the engineer responsible for the rear window regulators for a while (I didn’t design them, I just tried to overcome their designed in shortcomings). And I don’t know what it means either. But I can tell you they also sell a lesser version here in Aus called a Magna. And I don’t know what that means either. And they’re both great bathtubs of cars to drive too. Graham.

Response:

When I hear "Mitsubishi", I think of December 7th, 1941, Pearl Harbor. I wouldnt drive one. . – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – >: Mitsubishi Diamante- I don’t know what it means either. >These things are built in Australia for export to the US. I was the >engineer responsible for the rear window regulators for a while (I didn’t >design them, I just tried to overcome their designed in shortcomings). >And I don’t know what it means either. >But I can tell you they also sell a lesser version here in Aus called a >Magna. >And I don’t know what that means either. >And they’re both great bathtubs of cars to drive too. >Graham.

Response:

Well, diamante: diamond magna is Latin for great, Mishubishi is just the conglomerate, zaibatsu, but I’m sure that wouldn’t have needed any explanation, greetings and joy, Dieuwko Graham Wolstenholme heeft geschreven in bericht – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – >: Mitsubishi Diamante- I don’t know what it means either. >Magna. >And I don’t know what that means either.

Response:

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