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Question:
> I wanted to add a few if that’s ok: > Alfa Romeo Spider: The Miata is just too damn reliable for me!
Before my Miata I had a Spider. You hit a home run with this one 
Ron.
Response:
They may not be reliable, but they sure are fun as hell! Nate. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> I wanted to add a few if that’s ok: > Alfa Romeo Spider: The Miata is just too damn reliable for me! > Before my Miata I had a Spider. You hit a home run with this one > Ron.
Response:
I find it interesting that all sports car drivers have small penises. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->I saw this in the Honda newsgroup (of all places), and I thought you guys >might enjoy it. >* What You Drive says What About You * >Acura Integra - I have always wanted to own the Buick of sports cars >Acura Legend - I’m too bland for German cars >Acura NSX – I am impotent >Audi 90 – I enjoy putting out engine fires >Buick Park Avenue – I am older than 34 of the 50 states >Cadillac Eldorado - I am a very good Mary Kay salesman >Cadillac Seville - I am a pimp >Chevrolet Camaro – I enjoy beating the hell out of people >Chevrolet Chevette – I like seeing people’s reactions when I tell them I > have a ‘Vette >Chevrolet Corvette - I’m in a mid-life crisis >Chevrolet El Camino - I am leading a militia to overthrow the > government >Chrysler Cordoba - I dig the rich Corinthian leather >Chrysler Lebaron Convertible – I’m looking for that perfect boy. > (Both sexes) >Datsun 280Z – I have a kilo of cocaine in my wheel well >Dodge Dart – I teach third grade special education and I voted for > Eisenhower. >Dodge Daytona – I delivered pizza for four years to get this car >Ferrari Testarossa - I am known to prematurely ejaculate >Ford Fairmont - (See Dodge Dart) >Ford Mustang - I slow down to 85 in school zones >Ford Crown Victoria – I enjoy having people slow to 55mph and change > lanes when I pull up behind them >Ford Taurus – I lack taste and originality >Geo Storm - I will start the 11th grade in the fall. >Geo Tracker – I will start the 12th grade in the fall. >Honda del Sol – I have always said, half a convertible is better than > no convertible at all >Honda Civic – I have just graduated and have no credit >Honda Accord – I lack any originality and am basically a lemming. >Infiniti Q45 - I am a physician with 17 malpractice suits pending. >Isuzu Impulse - I do not give a damn about J.D. Power or his > reports. >Jaguar XJ6 - I am so rich I will pay 60K for a car that is in the shop > 280 days per year. >Kia Sephia – I learned nothing from the failure of Daihatsu Corp. >Lamborghini Countach - I only have one testicle >Lincoln Town Car – I live for bingo and covered dish suppers. >Mercury Grand Marquis - (See above) >Mercedes 500SL – I will beat you up if you ask me for an autograph. >Mercedes 560SEL – I have a daughter named Bitsy and a son named Cole. >Mazda Miata - I do not fear being decapitated by an > eighteen-wheeler. >MGB – I am dating a mechanic >Mitsubishi Diamante – I don’t know what it means either >Nissan 300ZX – I have yet to complete my divorce proceedings. >Oldsmobile Cutlass – I just stole this car and I’m going to make a > fortune off the parts >Peugeot 505 Diesel - I am on the EPA’s Ten Most Wanted List >Plymouth Neon - I sincerely enjoy doing the Macarena >Pontiac Trans AM – I have a switchblade in my sock >Porsche 911 Turbo - I have a three inch thingie >Porsche 944 – I am dating big haired women that otherwise would be > inaccessible to me >Rolls Royce Silver Shadow – I think Pat Buchanon is a tad bit too > liberal >Saturn SC2 - (See Honda Civic) >Saab 900 Turbo – I can’t get to the PCC fast enough >Subaru Legacy - I have always wanted a Japanese car even more inferior > than Isuzu >Toyota Camry - I am still in the closet >Toyota MR2- oh what a feeling, what a small dick I have >Volkswagon Beetle - I still watch Partridge Family reruns >Volkswagon Cabriolet – I am out of the closet >Volkswagon Microbus - I am tripping right now >Volvo 740 Wagon - I am frightened of my wife
Response:
Dave: The important thing to remember here is that you are not everyone. In fact, you are not anyone. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > I didn’t find one of these funny…. Who can find time to do this kind of > stuff??? > Dave > I saw this in the Honda newsgroup (of all places), and I thought you guys > might enjoy it. > * What You Drive says What About You * > Acura Integra - I have always wanted to own the Buick of sports cars > Acura Legend - I’m too bland for German cars > Acura NSX – I am impotent > Audi 90 – I enjoy putting out engine fires > Buick Park Avenue – I am older than 34 of the 50 states > Cadillac Eldorado - I am a very good Mary Kay salesman > Cadillac Seville - I am a pimp > Chevrolet Camaro – I enjoy beating the hell out of people > Chevrolet Chevette – I like seeing people’s reactions when I tell them I > have a ‘Vette > Chevrolet Corvette - I’m in a mid-life crisis > Chevrolet El Camino - I am leading a militia to overthrow the > government > Chrysler Cordoba - I dig the rich Corinthian leather > Chrysler Lebaron Convertible – I’m looking for that perfect boy. > (Both sexes) > Datsun 280Z – I have a kilo of cocaine in my wheel well > Dodge Dart – I teach third grade special education and I voted for > Eisenhower. > Dodge Daytona – I delivered pizza for four years to get this car > Ferrari Testarossa - I am known to prematurely ejaculate > Ford Fairmont - (See Dodge Dart) > Ford Mustang - I slow down to 85 in school zones > Ford Crown Victoria – I enjoy having people slow to 55mph and change > lanes when I pull up behind them > Ford Taurus – I lack taste and originality > Geo Storm - I will start the 11th grade in the fall. > Geo Tracker – I will start the 12th grade in the fall. > Honda del Sol – I have always said, half a convertible is better than > no convertible at all > Honda Civic – I have just graduated and have no credit > Honda Accord – I lack any originality and am basically a lemming. > Infiniti Q45 - I am a physician with 17 malpractice suits pending. > Isuzu Impulse - I do not give a damn about J.D. Power or his > reports. > Jaguar XJ6 - I am so rich I will pay 60K for a car that is in the shop > 280 days per year. > Kia Sephia – I learned nothing from the failure of Daihatsu Corp. > Lamborghini Countach - I only have one testicle > Lincoln Town Car – I live for bingo and covered dish suppers. > Mercury Grand Marquis - (See above) > Mercedes 500SL – I will beat you up if you ask me for an autograph. > Mercedes 560SEL – I have a daughter named Bitsy and a son named Cole. > Mazda Miata - I do not fear being decapitated by an > eighteen-wheeler. > MGB – I am dating a mechanic > Mitsubishi Diamante – I don’t know what it means either > Nissan 300ZX – I have yet to complete my divorce proceedings. > Oldsmobile Cutlass – I just stole this car and I’m going to make a > fortune off the parts > Peugeot 505 Diesel - I am on the EPA’s Ten Most Wanted List > Plymouth Neon - I sincerely enjoy doing the Macarena > Pontiac Trans AM – I have a switchblade in my sock > Porsche 911 Turbo - I have a three inch thingie > Porsche 944 – I am dating big haired women that otherwise would be > inaccessible to me > Rolls Royce Silver Shadow – I think Pat Buchanon is a tad bit too > liberal > Saturn SC2 - (See Honda Civic) > Saab 900 Turbo – I can’t get to the PCC fast enough > Subaru Legacy - I have always wanted a Japanese car even more inferior > than Isuzu > Toyota Camry - I am still in the closet > Toyota MR2- oh what a feeling, what a small dick I have > Volkswagon Beetle - I still watch Partridge Family reruns > Volkswagon Cabriolet – I am out of the closet > Volkswagon Microbus - I am tripping right now > Volvo 740 Wagon - I am frightened of my wife
Response:
"You might be a racer if…" 1) You wore Nomex socks to your wedding 2) You try to impress new acquaintances with your heel and toe skills 3) You really believe that waxing your car causes either bodywork damage or sudden, torrential downpours 4) You have ever critiqued the driving skills of Daisy Duke 5) You think the last line of the Star Spangled Banner is: "Racers, start your engines!" 6) Your garage holds more cars than your house has bedrooms. 7) You’re tired of people asking how fast your car is and expecting to hear the top speed in MPH, not a lap time at some local track. 
You have an immaculate car which you drive one day a week, and the vehicle that gets you around the other 6 days is rusted, covered with duct tape, and has a pair of Vise Grips(r) holding the clutch cable together. You promise yourself you’ll fix it right after this season, or when you need your Vise Grips for something else. 9) You can’t understand why Jeff Foxworthy finds anything wrong with owning a car or two that doesn’t run (at the moment). 10) You make turbocharger noises while walking down the street. 11) Your children are named after famous race car drivers (and one or more of them were conceived at a race track). 12) You and your spouse met at a race track. 13) Your racing budget is one of the big 3 – mortgage, car payments, day care, etc. 14) Your wife says, "If you buy another set of tires, I’m getting a new mink." 15) You can lose five pounds on a July afternoon while eating chili dogs. 16) You have the "Shift-O-Matic" sitting on your desk. (The "Shift-O-Matic" happens to be a toilet plunger with a shifter attached with Porsche crest) And while meeting with your staff you run through the gears making rude noises and an occasional squealing sound. 17) Your wife decides to become a race official so she’ll see more of you during the season. 18) You look at the purchase of tools as a long term investment. 19) You have enough spare parts to build another car 20) You know more than one racer supply house that recognizes your voice and greets you by name when you call 21) You have car parts in your cubicle at work 22) You’ve found that the guys at the local tire store laugh when you come in 23) Your grandmother is shocked to find you have a pair of jammies that cost $400 and the seat doesn’t even drop down 24) You hear "727" and think of "Chrysler" instead of "Boeing". 25) You hear "Darlington" and think of "asphalt" and "NASCAR circuit" instead of "silicon" and "compound circuit". 26) You hear "overcooked it" and think "off the track" instead of "Denny’s". 27) You measure all family acquisitions in terms of the number of racecar parts that could have been purchased. 28) You know dear that Orthodontic work is the equivalent of three sets of tires. 29) You find that you need a new house because you’ve outgrown your garage and the neighbors are threatening violence if you park one more vehicle on the street or in the front yard. 30) The requirements you give your real estate agent are (in order of importance):
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